Lowest Common DaBombinator

Drinking a basil orange mojito while Evan is making some spicy peanut noodles for a late lunch. I’m living the dream today. 

#weddings

I would make a really good day-of coordinator for a wedding. It actually would have worked really well this past Saturday if people didn’t hide problems from me. 

Having an aunt-in-law screaming and making a scene about how there’s no salsa and then not letting me tell her where it’s at was a good example of the theme of the night.

There’s no salsa on the table? There’s some in the fridge.

Don’t know how to put flowers out? Should have been put in jars yesterday like we asked, since you wanted a way to help.  They’re not? Just put them in there right now, and stop worrying about it. Nobody will die.

The coffee urns tripped the breaker? Plug them in somewhere else, and don’t plug them in to the same outlet again.

The caterer didn’t bring the tacos? Call them and tell them to bring them, or get a refund on that part since we have enough food. 

Someone is in the empty pool behind the locked fence? Tell them to get out, that’s a liability issue. 

Someone wants family pictures? Why didn’t you just do that yesterday when we were all around? Why are you asking me what you can do now if you wanted to know yesterday? 

I don’t know why simple solutions to things escape people. 

Jesus Christ. People treating me like a “bride” instead of like an adult human being made me nauseous and angry. I’m glad it won’t ever happen again….. Evan better not die early. I think we need to start being more proactive about heart health.

That said, I’m really thankful for the people who stepped up and helped out. It really meant a lot. And if you’re one of those wonderful people and reading this, know that if you get married, I would be happy to be your day-of coordinator. 

Things have been crazy and stressful lately, and there hasn’t been time to go to the grocery store although we’re overdue for it. Since we always run out of produce first I’m pretty sure at this point I haven’t eaten a fruit or vegetable in like 2.5 days. Uggh I feel terrible.

Today was a rough day, but I’m comforted by the thought that Maya, who was one of the sweetest dogs ever and a very very good girl, joined the big cuddle pile in the sky. 

Stephen Fry in America

I started watching “Stephen Fry in America” this week. I’ve worked through half of it so far. It’s wonderful. Shit’s been crazy lately, so I set out on Netflix to find a documentary that’s both interesting and pleasant, and I couldn’t be happier coming across this one. It gives an interesting outside perspective on the US, and also has featured some interesting places I didn’t know about at all. 

The only part I was like ‘lolwut’ about was when he said the Fourth Amendment protected freedom of speech, rather than the First Amendment. But I’m an American who taught a intro course on American politics, and he’s British. I can’t judge, I have a hard time with even just the distinction between the UK and Great Britain if I’m not totally sober. 

I’m pretty sure in the past 24 hours I just became one of those people who are really into Fiestaware dishes. It feels a little unsettling.

But really, just one person going hyphenated seem like sort of a wussy move. 

FIGHT THE POWER!

Hahahaha. Hahahah. Hah.

Today was a shitty day, until a grill came in the mail!